This Articles page is proud to serve up links to the house specialties that were on offer at Chez ALS back in the year 2012.

Each entry below contains a "hook" that suggests what the article deals with (an hors-d'œuvre), the first several paragraphs (an appetizer), plus a link to the full article (the main course). If you just want to scan over a list of the titles of all the articles on this site, you can save time by grabbin' a burger at the Article Index page. Bon appétit!

If you want to look for a specific topic, use the search function in the sidebar. Use the menu below to go to similar pages for previous years.

Time Traveler

Greetings from 2018! This is Greg, and I have traveled back in time here to January 2012 to remedy a minor little cosmetic glitch that cropped up when I changed my one-article-a-month format over to a "post 'em when you write 'em" format.

You see, it was important for me to keep my file-naming format the same, since otherwise any links to my articles out there in cyberspace would be broken. Now, since I was posting an article each month, I named the files accordingly.

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It's Finally Here

We've been inundated with doomsday prophecies from books, movies, TV specials, websites, and YouTube videos, and now it's time to take a deep breath and fasten our seat belts: It's the year 2012.

It's finally here.

We have the ancient Mayans to thank for all of this, bless their hearts. The Mayans were highly skilled in astronomical observations and created a calendar that ran in cycles of 5,125 years. And unless you've been living on another planet, you've probably heard that such a cycle apparently ends on December 21, 2012. For decades, people ranging from serious scholars to self-styled New Age gurus have speculated about the implications of this, although it has only reached fever pitch in the context of popular culture in the last few years.

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Kick Me!

In the 1985 movie Back to the Future, Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) travels back in time to 1955 and has about a week to arrange for his parents-to-be to meet and fall in love in order to keep his future intact. He shows up at the high school they both attend to help his future father George (Crispin Glover) woo and win his future mother Lorraine (Lea Thompson).

In the school that first morning, Marty sees his (seriously geeky) father stumbling and bumbling down the hall, being followed by several boys who are having an uproariously good time kicking him in the rear end, taunting him, knocking the books from his arm, and so on. As George spins around to confront his tormentors, we see that someone has taped a piece of paper to his back that says "KICK ME!"

Although we can't help but sympathize with George, it's still an amusing scene in a perverse sort of way. We might chuckle to ourselves to think that someone could be such a schmuck as to walk around adorned with an open invitation for a swift kick in the pants. Down deep, we might even feel he deserves it for being such a schlemiel.

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May the Force Be With You

When the movie Star Wars originally came out 1977, it launched what was destined to become the third-highest-grossing movie franchise in history (trailing only the James Bond and Harry Potter series). Characters from the film—Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, Han Solo, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Princess Leia, R2-D2, C-3PO, and so on—became cultural icons. Concepts developed in the story became deeply entrenched in popular culture, and none more so than the idea that undergirds the entire Star Wars saga: the Force.

According to the story, the Force is an energy field created by all living things that permeates and binds together the entire universe. It can be controlled and manipulated by certain adept individuals who can attain mastery of the Force through training and discipline.

As they develop their ability to manipulate the Force, they increasingly exhibit various psychic abilities such as telekinesis, clairvoyance, mind control, precognition, and so forth. Manifestation of these psychic powers is considered evidence that one is becoming more adept at using the Force, and so such powers are prized and earnestly sought after.

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Separation Anxiety

I've been teaching English in Taiwan since 1992, and in my early years here I worked for a woman who operated a branch of a chain of language schools where I taught children's classes in addition to adult conversation classes. She also ran a private kindergarten where I was regularly pressed into service teaching children between the ages of three and six.

One rite of passage I witnessed regularly occurred when a very young child was left at the kindergarten by his or her mother for the first time. Many children, although they may have been a bit timid or anxious initially, got through it in fine fashion. By lunchtime they would be running around and playing with the other kids, and seemed none the worse for the experience.

For others, however, it was a very different story. Some children would be so traumatized by their perceived abandonment that they would scream and wail for hours on end at volumes belying their diminutive size, impervious to any attempts by teachers or other children to interact with or comfort them in any way. In some cases, this continued until mom returned at day's end to pick the child up, only to continue unabated the next day. I remember one little girl who screamed all day for two solid weeks—I think she finally just wore herself out.

Sooner or later, the kid finally begins to realize that (a) crying accomplishes nothing, (b) the people at the kindergarten are nice, (c) there are some cool toys to play with and some fun activities to be part of, and (d) that yes, mom really will come back.

I suppose it's a natural part of growing up.

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Wrong Black Train

In 2003, country music singer Josh Turner released his debut album Long Black Train, which features his first hit song by the same name. Josh also wrote the title track, which puts on full display the rich baritone voice and soulful style that launched his career as a country music star.

More recently, in the spring of 2011, 17-year-old American Idol contestant Scotty McCreery performed "Long Black Train" in the Hollywood Round Final, and his rendition of the song sufficiently wowed the judges to earn him a spot in the Top 24. If you follow the show, you're probably aware that Scotty, who possesses a baritone voice reminiscent of Josh Turner's, went on to win the national singing contest later that summer.

As you might guess, the lyrics of the song revolve around the image of a long black train. Josh Turner, in commenting on the song in interviews, maintains that the train is a metaphor for the temptations that people face, and the song urges people to refrain from riding on that train, or resist succumbing to those various temptations, which are characterized as blatantly sinful lifestyles. Rather, the song assures us, we can find victory in the Lord.

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Top That

In various places in the New Testament, Christians are told to comfort and strengthen one another, primarily to build each other up in the faith. It's common for Christians to share with each other about what the Lord has done in their lives as a way to pick each other up spiritually. They'll share a praise report about an answer to prayer or a particular blessing God has given them. They'll share how the Lord has helped them overcome something they had been struggling with, and so forth.

Christians also occasionally share their personal testimonies about how they came to have faith in God: the detailed story of the how, when, and where they came to believe the gospel. I say the how, when, and where because...well, we already know the who (Jesus), the what (salvation by grace through faith) and the why (because God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance).

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See the Ball, Hit the Ball

Derek Jeter, who has played shortstop for the New York Yankees since the beginning of his Major League career in 1995, is widely acclaimed by both players and fans throughout the country as one of the greatest baseball players of this generation, and one of the most consummate professionals in the game. On July 9, 2011, Jeter reached a milestone in his illustrious baseball career by getting his 3,000th hit, and there are those who believe the all-time hit record of 4,256 held by Pete Rose is not out of his reach.

When asked about his philosophy of hitting, Jeter has never been one to go on at length with a detailed analysis of the mechanics of his approach. His response to such questions is disarmingly straightforward—some might say teasingly understated:

See the ball, hit the ball.

That's it. Sounds simple, doesn't it? Of course, it helps to have the natural talent that Derek Jeter possesses when it comes to putting this philosophy into practice, but that does neatly encapsulate the essentials of the art of hitting.

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The R-Word

You may remember Harold Camping, the California-based radio preacher who launched a massive campaign promoting May 21, 2011 as the day that God would take all true believers to heaven and unleash a series of cataclysmic natural disasters that would end with the complete destruction of the world five months later on October 21.

For the uninitiated, the future event in which Jesus Christ comes to take His Church, or body of born-again believers to be with Him in heaven is known as the Rapture in Evangelical parlance. Its purpose is to remove believers from the earth before, while, or after (depending on who you ask) God unleashes His judgment on a Christ-rejecting world in general, and on the nations attempting to destroy Israel in particular.

Among adherents, the controversy lies in trying to deduce the general timing of the Rapture relative to other end-time events outlined in various parts of the Bible by studying Scripture. Regardless of their overarching view, most people agree that the Bible teaches God alone knows the exact date, and so any attempt to calculate the date of the Rapture with precision should be regarded as speculative and unbiblical.

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Change You Can Believe In

During the 2008 United States presidential campaign, Democratic candidate Barack Obama mesmerized people with his powerful, eloquent oratory. His words were inspiring and uplifting, and filled millions of people not only in America but all over the world with hope for a better future. Peppered with a number of compelling catch phrases, his speeches proved effective in wooing Americans into electing him president, as well as seducing much of the rest of the world into hailing him as a virtual messiah figure.

At rally after rally, huge crowds chanted "YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!" All across the country, thousands of signs, posters, and bumper stickers trumpeted "Change we can believe in."

But the change we could believe in never came into focus and never quite materialized. Today, four years later, that change doesn't seem to be any closer or any clearer—that is, unless you consider that change to be a distinct shift toward a stifling, hyper-liberal socialist state that is drowning in debt, treating the Constitution like a throw rug, spinning ever expanding webs of despicable, demonstrable lies for political advantage, and intent on making America look fickle, feckless, and irresolute in the eyes of the international community.

(Sorry, I need a moment...)

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Don't Make Me Come Down There!

I'm sure this never happens to sanctified folks, but it happens to me all the time. I'll see some stupid cartoon or hear some silly joke and it will crack me up; but afterwards, the Holy Spirit will start poking me in the ribs and I'll start asking myself, Why did I laugh at that? That's really not funny.

Then, as the Holy Spirit continues poking me, I'll begin plumbing the depths of why it's not funny...or at least shouldn't be. And if I keep digging, God has a chance to get something through my thick head...or heart, as the case may be.

Case in point: I remember seeing a bumper sticker on a car one time that showed the hand of God pointing down out of a cloud in a threatening manner, along with the words:

Don't make me come down there!

Technically, I suppose it could have been the hand of Jesus, but you get the picture. Anyway, I snickered as I pictured God as an exasperated parent, issuing one final warning to scare the kids into behaving before coming down to give 'em a good spanking. (poke, poke) I gotta admit, that's pretty funny. (poke, poke) Hee hee hee...poor God. (poke, poke) I mean, what parent hasn't done that? (poke, poke) We really are like a bunch of little brats, fighting and screaming and getting on God's nerves, right? (poke, poke)

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Have Yourself a Merry Little...Xmas?

As a teacher of adult English in Taiwan, I routinely get asked all sorts of off-the-wall questions by my students, many about things I never thought about before until someone actually asked. And I certainly don't mean that as a complaint—in fact, it's one of the true joys of teaching English.

I especially enjoy it, however, when I get asked questions about religious holidays such as Christmas or Easter because it gives me a gift-wrapped opportunity to steer the conversation toward my favorite subject: the gospel.

One Christmas-related question I have been asked several times concerns the word Xmas, a common abbreviation for Christmas used by many people throughout the world. Students are generally just curious about what it signifies, how it came about, and why it's used in place of the word Christmas.

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